Crystal Assembly

So I'm Prone in a Giant Pit of Shit?

From the journal of Arjhan

Fortified with bacon, we pressed onwards. We entered a room that was suspiciously empty save for two stone statues, with two exits in the far wall. We sent F’lar, Silvio and Solath to examine the place, and to our vast non-surprise they reported evidence of a trap. A twenty-foot square section of flooring seemed to be suspicious, and we debated whether to bypass it, or attempt to trigger it. We retrieved a corpse of one of those reaper guys, intending to use it to set off the trap. Garth, however, decided he ought to jump over the trap so we could drag the corpse all the way across it. Before we could think this plan through, he had tied a rope around his waist, shoved the other end into my hands, and took a running leap.

He cleared a good fifteen feet – not quite enough. As his feet hit the floor, there was a clanking of machinery and the entire floor dropped away, the wall coming down to create a new floor like a giant paddle-wheel. I yanked on the rope, but not fast enough – the trap snapped it off before I could drag Garth to safety. We heard his shouts fading as he plunged down a chute or a slide or some damn thing.

Bu we had our own problems: rats. Specifically, undead rats with creepy red eyes, that had been clinging to the inner wall (which was now our new floor). They proved both aggressive and fragile, and we made short work of the half-dozen or so that had appeared.

There followed an intense few seconds as we debated how to get down to where Garth was (hopefully) still alive. We quickly decided to drag one of the stone statues over, trigger the trap, and use the statue to jam it open. Uthrag and I wrangled the thing into position, and then, fearing for Garth’s life, I stomped across the trapped area of flooring.

Turns out it was the last row of floor tiles.

I slid down a chute and came to an undignified halt in a large pit – a large, occupied pit, with a nice soft layer of crap. Garth was battling some sort of large, tentacles monstrosity that looked to be close kin to an otyugh. I gasped out that help had arrived.

I later learned that the second activation of the trap had released another handful of undead rats up above, which is why the rest of the party did not immediately follow me. Kuruk did appear seconds later, surfing his bearskin like a child on a carnival ride – to land directly on top of Garth, knocking them both down. I would have laughed except for the flailing tentacles of the foul-smelling monstrosity that was trying to eat us. The bandit archer joined us as well.

A resounding crack echoed from above, and half of the statue tumbled down into the pit with us. I guess Uthrag’s grip slipped. Garth, Kuruk and I proceeded to pound the monster with weapons and magic, although Garth kept slipping in the crap and flailing around as if he was drunk.

I heard more noise from up above, and then Solath’s voice telling me to get out of the way; seconds later, a flaming sphere appeared and began roasting the shit-monster. I got a little scorched, but it felt good. Then F’lar made his entrance. I heard Solath shout “You runty bastard!” and he tumbled down on top of me; at the same time F’lar made some kind of leaping, tumbling dive off the chute and over Garth’s head…into a pile of crap. It would have been hilarious if not for the threat of Certain Doom.

Anyway, the six of us lit into the crap-monster with everything we had. It took a terrific beating but kept flailing around, smelling worse and worse. I later learned that Uthrag, Silvio, and the other bandit were preoccupied with yet more undead rats spilling out of the walls upstairs. Given that we were going six-to-one and losing, I found this explanation to be slightly lacking, even though Silvio said he was forced to resort to hand-to-hand at one point.

Eventually, thanks to iron and magic and healing to keep us up, the beast went down under Garth’s massive hammer. It smelled even worse dead than alive. After still more clanging and banging and cursing, we disabled the trap and made our way out of the shit-pit. Good thing there was water a couple rooms back.

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